you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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