Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
