you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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