I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
