Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
