Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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