she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize