garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
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