he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
