After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
