____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
