PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
