dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
