Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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