just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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