but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
