idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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