You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
