You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Randomize
