she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Randomize