Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
