he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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