HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
