A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
