I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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