this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize