He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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