so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
