I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
