plz talk dirty to me
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
