remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
