Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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