Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Im part way to drunk.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
