I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize