Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
