my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
