I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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