We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize