we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I have already put on my inside pants.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
