Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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