Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
