She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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