HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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