oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize