I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
