I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
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