I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
