ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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