i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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