I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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