Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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