CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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