We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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