she woke up with a sticky ear
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
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