what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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