i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
