how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
