Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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