We won't sleep together?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
We talked him into tasing himself.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
