mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
