Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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