Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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